Definitely emotional after reading that snap. Thanks, MTV!
Anyway, yes, my favourite boyband will go on hiatus for indefinite time. And as much as I'm not ready for it, they need it. They fucking deserve it. I mean, who the hell goes five freaking year for touring and making albums?! Even a diva like Taylor Swift releases her albums every two years— two, not one.
Am I gonna miss those idiots? Yes, I definitely will miss them. I've spent the majority of my free time watching their videos, ogling over their candid pictures, or even reading so many great fics. So, yeah, I think it's understandable if I say I will miss those lads very much.
I first knew them from a senior when I was just a freshman in school. It wasn't love at first sight. I couldn't even tell the difference of Liam and Harry who both had a same hairstyle in What Makes You Beautiful music video. So, yeah. I'm not a fan from 2010, I only first saw their video in December 2011 or January 2012 (I'm not quite sure). But after about ten videos or so, I was slowly falling for them.
I started being active on Twitter, making friends over the fandom. And yes, I've found lots of friends from the One Direction fandom. I thought it was only temporary, but my assumption was proven wrong when I realised, I'm still friends with Nabila. We chat daily through BBM, Line, and even Snapchat! She was just a tiny 'lil sixth grade pumpkin who lived in Jakarta. And now, four years later, she has grown into this cute pumpkin on her first year on high school. On top of that, we've only met once!!
One Direction has brought so much joy into my life. Sure, they occasionally make my anxiety skyrocketed for more than a couple of times (especially this year) but I can't tell you how much my life has changed since I know those lads. And for the better, of course. Their constant appearance in my life makes a huge impact.
When I was still in school, I was bullied because how fat I was (I still am, by the way). I reacted badly to negative comments. I might not show it in school but I took it upon myself to make the situation better with self-harming. It was stupid and crazy and irrational, I know. But somehow physical pain made it all better. It was like taking the shame to myself, my own body.
When I became #1 enemy in the class, I would just sit quietly and listen to the angelic voices of One Direction boys. When I watched the video of Harry crying over the hate he got from the internet, I teared up. Not only because we went through a similar phase, but just... the fragility of his made me realise that hey, nobody's perfect. Such a thing doesn't even exist.
Looking back now, the new Harry looks so confident in his patterned shirts and tight jeans, along with his stupid boots and that long curly hair of his. And Niall, being a carefree lad he always has, just laughs at whatever is funny to him.
They literally make me happy on the times I can't even count anymore. From that moment, I swore to put watch 1D's gig on my bucket list.
And then it happened. Last year, the promoter announced that One Direction would be having a gig in Jakarta this year. I remember freaked out for not having money and such. And to be honest, I was so sure I wouldn't be able to see them perform. But, Allah had another plans. Two of my amazing friends, Dyas and M.Tri, helped me to see their gig. From the concert tickets to the accommodation, they helped me so much and I'm so grateful for that. The bond we've had over this stupid boyband maybe came off a bit strong back then but I never regret a thing.
March 25th, 2015
I was finally in Jakarta. The realisation hit me up like tons of bricks that I wanted to cry my eyes out because wow, I'm seeing them live. I remember having lots of mixed feelings that I became numb and just wanted to sleep but I couldn't because I will see those idiots right in front of my eyes (not literally face to face but.. you know what I mean, don't youuuuu).
Unfortunately that day was the best and the worst day in my entire existence as a fangirl. I watched them live (which they sounded amazing, by the way. I could listen to their voices for years and will never get tired of it), but I also had to witness how Zayn's decision to leave the group had impacted lots of people including myself. I was still having PCD (Post Concert Depression) and scrolling through Twitter didn't help me a bit because my timeline was full of people mourning over Zayn's decision.
CelebMix said it best, to be honest.
I'm not ready yet to see the lads working on their solo projects. And to think of it, I don't think I will ever be ready for that. However, they deserve the hiatus. I— we, as in the fans, owe it to them. They've been working so hard for the last five years, making sure we get the best albums with the best songs. All the while they were away from families and friends (which is very tough, I can agree on that one).
I think not only they deserve this, they need this, we need this. Not only giving them the time to catch up with their loved ones but also appreciating what they've done for us.
It's the end of their first chapter of life. It's been hectic and mental, but it's also been memorable. Louis has promised to come back. Not just him, all of them promised to come back someday in the future. And I can't do anything but hanging on to that promise and make a new one for myself; I will wait for them to come back.
No matter how long the break will take, I promise I'll be here when they get back. I promise to stay in touch with all of my acquaintances around the world even though I'll be busy with my thesis next year.
I will wait, because I know how much they care about us.
Kisses from an Indonesian Directioner,
Dina
