Random

Hi. I, uh, I apologized in advance of my absence.

I've been depressed for the past few weeks. I thought it was only another meltdown but when I constantly cry, I knew that it's not. I knew it's depression right away, although I've never consulted this to psychiatrist.

It started when I came back from Jakarta. On the previous post, I've written about the event I attended, so I'm not gonna talk about it anymore.

I became one of the contributor for Cerita Kita, and I'm actually really proud of myself because of that. To be honest, I'd hoped my so-called friends in uni would be happy for me and such. Unfortunately, I don't think they are.

They ignored me for a good amount of time, which it made realise me how friendless I actually am. I laughed at myself, realising that an awkward-and-ugly person like me would never have any actual friends. What the hell was I thinking?

I've been clean for more than a year but I actually had an urge to self-harm again last week. It was too much and I just... I don't know.