Clingy :/

It’s been a while, I know. To start off, I’d like to apologize. I was too wrapped up with my new job and writing fics. There were a couple of times when I really wanted to write here but again, I was too lazy (covering my face with a pillow because I’m so ashamed right now).

So, everyone knows I’m single (I’ve been.. for a while now). And most of time, I’m not complaining about that because being single is just amazing. I can be friends with whoever I want, I can cuss whenever I like (although I don’t cuss a lot in real life), and of course I don’t have to share any food.

The thing is.. there are also times when I just want someone to hold me when I cry, telling me it will be okay. Yes, I have great bestfriends and I wouldn’t trade them for anything. But still, I want someone giving me attention, goofing around with me, and loving me no matter what stupid acts I will do in the future.

The thought of someone whispering nothing but sweet words.. it’s soothing. I want to shower that special someone with compliments just because he deserves it. If he can keep up with my crazy antics or even weird mood swings I often have, then yes, he fucking deserves thousand of compliments.

I don’t want to sound like I’m too clingy (which I’m pretty sure will scare most of people). But I AM CLINGY. Like it or not, I’m that kind of person who will text you at one in the morning just because I can’t sleep and I can’t stop thinking about you. It’s my way to show you how much I care about you and I don’t want to lose you to some stupid problems. You don't have to reply straight away, obviously. I'm not that clingy.

People always be like, “ew, she’s way too clingy. That’s disgusting”. It makes me so insecure about myself and question my sanity.

“Are they gonna leave me now that they know how clingy I could be?”

“I shouldn’t have done that, he’ll know I’m a clingy person”

“Oh crap, that question just slipped. Now they will rethink their opinions about me”

I, you, all of us for that matter, we shouldn't be sorry for being US. We don't owe people shit, do we? We are allowed to be a little clingy. But society is so frustrating! We have a fucked up society and sometimes it just angered me to no end.

I’m not seeking for attention. And I promise you, clingy doesn’t mean creepy. I may stalk your accounts once in a while or constantly checking in with you, just to assure myself that you are okay. But that’s it. There is no way I will collect every data about you, I'm not a psycho.

Clingy means we care about someone. In my opinion, clingy is good (but not too clingy tho). It just shows how much we trust him/her and we allow ourselves to be vulnerable in front of him/her.

Do you honestly think it's easy to be clingy? NO. NOPE.

Take me for an example. I can be attached to someone pretty quickly but then when they just left without any explanation, I will be a sobbing mess. Why? Because I genuinely care about them (maybe a bit too much). It hurts so much when people think it's okay to step on my feelings.

To anyone who still stands by me through everything– I salute you. There aren’t much people who willing to do that and I’m so grateful.

Kisses,

Dee