STOP IT!

Hello! Just like I said on one of my Instagram picture, now I'm writing a long-ass post about body-shaming among the society.

According to http://yourdictionary.com, the definition of body shaming is the practice of making critical, potentially humiliating comments about a person's body size or weight.

Kurang jelas? Oke. Singkatnya, body-shaming itu adalah ketika seseorang mengolok-olok orang lain berdasarkan bentuk tubuhnya. Gue gak tau pasti tujuannya yang jelas gue benci banget sama satu hal ini. Dan di postingan kali ini, gue bakal jelasin kenapa body-shaming itu perbuatan hina yang harus dimusnahkan.

Gue emang gak terlahir sebagai cewek gemuk. Tapi yah mungkin emang pada dasarnya suka makan, makanya gue jadi gemuk. Lucunya, dari jaman gue SD sampe kuliah gini, gue pasti punya temen yang gak peduli sebanyak apapun dia makan, dia gak bakal bisa gemuk.

Society teaches people to be ashamed of their appearances. Faktanya, manusia gak mungkin malu atau bahkan membenci dirinya sendiri. Kebencian yang dimiliki itu semata-mata karena standar konyol yang dibuat oleh masyarakat. "Jadi cewek itu gak boleh gemuk", "lo tau model A? Tubuhnya ya ampun body goals banget", pasti ada berbagai macam omongan semacam ini di sekitar kita.

Karena gue emang gemuk dari kecil, gue jadi terbiasa dipanggil Dindut (Dina gendut). Padahal sebenernya kalo dipikir lagi, it's not normal to get used to a weird name-calling. Yang paling bikin gue bete adalah ketika orang-orang yang baru aja kenal sama gue, dengan santainya manggil gue 'ndut'. Secara gak langsung, mereka menghakimi gue dari penampilan doang, which is simply ridiculous if I would say. Gue yakin, banyak orang punya pengalaman yang sama.

Kenyataannya adalah gue lebih dari sekedar kata gemuk. Gak ada yang tau usaha gue selama ini dan hal-hal apa aja yang gue capai. The same case goes to you, my friends. Nobody knows things you've done but yourself. Dan kita gak perlu ngejelasin ke orang-orang tentang pencapaian kita. Buat apa? Toh mereka bukan orang penting.

Stop labeling people with names!!!

Bagi siapa aja yang suka banget melabeli orang lain, shame on you. I feel sorry for you. Kalian gak lebih dari sampah yang suka bikin orang-orang ngerasa gak percaya diri sama diri mereka sendiri.

Gue yang lama bakal langsung sedih dan kecewa ketika denger seseorang bilang "kok gendutan? Diet dong". Tapi gue yang sekarang malah ngerasa kasihan. Apa iya hidup mereka sebegitu membosankannya sampe mereka harus nyari hiburan dengan cara ngurusin hidup orang lain?

Body-shaming is not, and will never be, cool. We don't know what they've been through. We have no clue about the struggle they've had. Thus we have no rights to say something, anything really, about them or their bodies.

Apa iya gue harus ngasih pengumuman kalo gue udah turun berapa kilo? No. Dan apa gue harus cerita tentang latar belakang gue olahraga? Enggak. Gue gak punya kewajiban untuk ngasih tau apapun ke masyarakat.

Meskipun begitu, untuk mengakhiri postingan kali ini, gue mau ngaku beberapa hal. Pertama, gue gak lagi diet. I'm perfectly fine with my body, I finally feel comfortable in my own skin. Kedua, kalo emang gue mulai rajin lari (lagi) itu karena salah satu resolusi tahun baru. Gue udah janji sama diri sendiri kalo mau hidup lebih sehat tahun ini dan salah satu caranya ya dengan olahraga, terutama lari karena gue ngerasa lebih tenang setelah lari beberapa putaran di lapangan. Ketiga, walaupun gue gak diet tapi gue berusaha ngebatesin porsi makan dan ngurangin kebiasaan ngemil. Gue juga udah hampir 2 bulan ini berusaha buat minum minimal 2 liter air putih tiap harinya. Keempat dan sekaligus terakhir, berat badan gue udah turun beberapa kilo, so please stop complaining to me about my weight. That's not your business, it's mine.

I know that I don't have to explain myself but lately I've been getting a lot of comments about my body. And I'm actually surprised to find I bite back their comments with my sarcastic tone. I remember answered this to one of my high school friends, "kita udah lama gak ketemu dan hal pertama yang muncul di pikiranmu itu tentang aku yang tambah gendut? Interesting".

None of them said anything afterwards.

Kisses,

Dee 

Kids: Then and Now

Hi everyone! Finals are over and I'm finally back to write (hopefully) on a regular basis. I can not tell you how relieved I am because my fifth semester is over. Only three more semesters until I get my bachelor degree! Phew, that's not a long time! Also, that means I'm getting older as well.

Even so, there are things I actually do not enjoy. One of them is growing up.

Semakin tua umur seseorang, maka orang-orang akan mengharapkan satu hal: kedewasaan. Dan jujur aja, I'm not ready yet. Masih banyak hal yang pengen gue pelajari termasuk arti daripada kedewasaan itu sendiri.

Why? Karena akhir-akhir ini gue sadar, ternyata banyak anak yang udah atau malah diharuskan dewasa sebelum waktunya. Mereka yang seharusnya masih lugu dan memikirkan sekolah malah dipaksa memikirkan hal-hal lain yang seharusnya menjadi tanggung jawab orang tua.

Gue bersyukur karena selama 12 tahun wajib belajar, gak sekalipun orang tua maksa gue buat mikir hal-hal berat selain tugas sekolah. As my father would say, "kewajiban utama seorang pelajar itu ya belajar". Meskipun gue pengen banget kerja paruh waktu buat ngurangin beban orang tua, they wouldn't let me.

Hidup di keluarga yang alhamdulilah berkecukupan juga ngebuat gue lebih sadar dan lebih berusaha kalo pengen sesuatu. Gue masih inget banget, HP pertama gue dulu itu merek Nokia bekas salah satu om gue. Masih monoponik, dan layarnya warna biru ngejreng. Kalo di jaman sekarang sih, HP kayak gitu udah mending dibuang aja. Padahal jaman segitu, HP gitu doang aja ngedapetinnya penuh perjuangan. Gue harus lulus dan masuk ke SMP negeri (bukan hal yang mudah untuk siswi Madrasah Ibtidaiyah yang hanya memiliki 9 orang murid). People underestimated me all the time, making me self-conscious.

Beda banget sama anak-anak sekarang yang gampang banget minta HP ke orang tua mereka. Gak sedikit pula orang tua yang, gak tanggung-tanggung, beliin iPhone buat anak mereka. Gue pribadi tau dan kenal beberapa anak SD yang udah make iPhone. *cringe inwardly*

It amazed me, to be honest. Semudah itu para orang tua memanjakan anaknya. I'm not saying it's a bad thing, cuma kalo dimanjain secara berlebihan itu kan gak baik. Pak, Bu, mereka masih kecil. Masih bocah. Kalo dalam waktu semuda itu udah dibeliin gadget mewah, ya panjenengan gak boleh protes kalo nilai mereka turun drastis. Jangan serta merta nyalahin gurunya di sekolah. That's completely wrong and twisted.

Gue emang bukan pakar anak, lah punya anak aja belum kok (jangankan anak, pacar aja gak punya LOL). Tapi semenjak punya kerja sampingan jadi guru les, gue jadi lumayan sering perhatiin perilaku anak-anak, terutama yang ada di sekitar gue. Hasilnya? Gue dapet beberapa pembanding yang lumayan ekstrim antara anak jaman dulu dan sekarang.

Anak jaman sekarang itu kecanduan banget sama yang namanya gadget. Disini gue gak mau munafik karena gue juga lumayan kecanduan tapi kalo disuruh matiin/ninggal, yah gue biasa aja. Sementara anak jaman sekarang susah pisah dari perangkat elektronik. Gue punya satu murid les yang hampir gak bisa lepas sama tablet-nya. Just for your information, dia masih kelas 3 SD. 

Yang ada di pikiran gue saat itu adalah "perasaan dulu waktu SD gue cuman mainan bongkar pasang sama boneka". Di jaman itulah gue belajar berimajinasi. Otak gue secara gak langsung diasah sama persoalan-persoalan sepele yang ada. "Kalo Barbie make ini, Ken nya harus make jas yang mana ya", pertanyaan konyol macam ini sering banget gue tanyain ke diri gue sendiri.

Perbedaan yang paling mencolok adalah anak jaman dulu takut banget sama yang namanya orang tua. Kenapa? Karena sebagian orang tua gak ragu buat main fisik kalo anaknya udah dianggap keterlaluan. Some of you may think "that's not a good parenting". Emang sih cara kayak gitu sebenernya gak dibolehin tapi efeknya? Anak-anak lebih nurut orang tua karena mereka tau hukuman apa yang akan mereka terima ketika mereka berbuat salah.

Coba kita bandingin sama anak jaman sekarang. Banyak yang berani sama orang tua. Pake kekerasan dikit dibilang KDRT. It's funny because I still remember my father spanked me when I did something wrong and there were times when my mother had had enough of my rebellion so she just casually threw my stuff out of the house. Tentu, anak sekarang pasti mikir orang tua gue kejam. Tapi the way I see it, itu adalah bukti kasih sayang mereka. Mereka cuma gak mau gue jadi anak pembangkang dan gak tau aturan. Hasilnya? Gue lebih bisa jadi orang yang menghargai waktu dan segan sama orang yang lebih tua.

Tapi yah, apalah daya gue yang cuma anak remaja ingusan. Cuma bisa nulis di blog doang karena gak ada yang bersedia ngedengerin ocehan gue. However, these are my opinions. How about you? Comment in the box below about it.

Kisses,

Dee

Welcoming 2016

Hiya, lovely people!

I apologize for my absence. Things aren't too great right now and I can't be bothered to write about topics that will make me dizzy in no time. So, I decided to write about what excites me.

Leaving 2015 behind was quite hard for me because even though I struggled with my body image (again), a lot of good things happened last year. I tend to make stupid decisions and sometimes doing idiotic stuffs, which of course, put me in trouble. In my defense, those two make great memories.

I had never felt confident in my whole life. But in 2015, I felt so confident. Yeah, it started with me found out that my ex cheated (with a high-school student for goodness sake). Not a great start. Although I'm somewhat happier that I'm not with him anymore, I feel sorry for him.

I don't know how or when things around me started looking up. But they did.

Watching One Direction in Jakarta will always be my favourite memory. It filled with excitement, happiness, but also sadness. But you know what? I wouldn't want it any other way. And I was blessed to see them with two of my close friends. 

Other than that, I also finished #100happydays challenge on Instagram. I started it because I want to be happy. I needed more than a year to finish it but believe it or not, I am happier now. Sure, there are times when I feel like doing nothing but crying my eyes out. Although so, the important lesson from that challenge is that not to let certain things bother me and just focus on my happiness. So, I try to not let things affect me.

Let's not forget about Cerita Kita experience. It was exciting. And I'm truly honored to be chosen as one of the contributors. I feel so proud of myself for choose not to listen to those twats and not giving up on my dreams. I'm crying as I'm writing this because none of you has any idea how good I felt when they called my name. None of you knows how badly I want to be a writer/an author. And I reckon not all of you knows how sad I am whenever somebody tells me that having a literature degree is useless just like having a dream to be an author. I feel like I've proved myself worth more than they think I am.

Oh, I also started a job as a private tutor. Sure, it's not my dream job but as long as I can help my parents to pay their debts along with buying my own necessities, I'm not complaining. There are times when I feel so overwhelmed with things but my students know how to cheer me up. They never fail to amuse me. So, yeah, I'm probably in this for a long run.

2015 has taught me so many things.

I learned how to let people go. It's not and will never be easy, especially because I'm clingy as hell. But then I realized that not everyone is meant to stay in my life. They might stop for a while but then what? They will be gone before I realise it, they continue their journey of life without me. Back in my younger-self, I would be crying for a week straight and then I would start blaming myself for not being good enough for them. I had thought about this for a long time and then come to this question; why would I cling onto them so tightly when they obviously not care enough to stay?

Meanwhile #100happydays challenge also taught me how to love myself. I've been dealing with body-shaming for as long as I can remember and it brings nothing but low self-esteem. But now, I've learnt to not let people underestimate me just because I'm overweight. I've accepted my flaws. Fuck those wankers who think I can't do things on my own because I'm not skinny enough for their taste.

I also learned to be more vocal about what I have in mind. I mean, I used to watch things happen and held back comments because I was afraid. Which is actually stupid. I have rights to express myself, my opinions, my ideas. So, I started to be more vocal about it. For starters, I hate FPI (Front Pembela Islam) because they always make unnecessary ruckus among society. FYI, I would never write or say that a few years back since I was such a coward even for my own opinions.

Even though it's been more than a week since New Year's Eve, I would like to give a warm welcome to 2016. Not only because my annoying brother will graduate this year but I'm excited of what this year will bring. I'm excited for new memories. Sad or happy, who the hell cares? Both of them bound to happen anyway.

Unlike before, I'm welcoming this new year with a positive attitude. I'm also wishing for peace for the world. This world doesn't need anymore bastard, it needs open-minded people.

HELLO AND WELCOME, 2016! 😊😊

Kisses,

Dee