Don't leave me

Holla! Been a while since my last post (I told you about my lost, didn't I?). So, today I'd like to share one of my favorite song from a great female singer who's been my idol since I was in middle school, Demi Devonne Lovato.

For you who don't know her.. it's 2013! (Google it, please.)

So yeah, this song pretty much tells you about what I feel right at this moment, except the part 'kiss' (I don't have my first kiss yet, judge me). I don't want to give rants here in the beginning, so I decided to tell what's this song about in the end of this post, from my opinion, of course.

Demi Lovato - I hate you, don’t leave me

Hey, hey..
Yeah, Yeah..
I hate you, don’t leave me
I feel like, I can’t breathe
Just hold me

Don’t touch me

And I want you to love me
But I need you to trust me
Stay with me

Set me free

But I can’t back down
No I can’t deny that I’m staying now
‘Cause I can’t decide
Confused and scared I am terrified of you

I admit I’m in and out of my head
Don’t listen to a single word I’ve said
Just hear me out,
before you run away
‘Cause I can’t take this pain

I hate you don’t leave me
I hate you don’t leave me
Because I love when you kiss me
I’m pieces, you complete me

But I can’t back down
No I can’t deny that I’m staying now
‘Cause I can’t decide
Confused and scared I am terrified of you

I admit I’m in and out of my head
Don’t listen to a single word I’ve said
Just hear me out, before you run away
‘Cause I can’t take this pain
Noo

I’m addicted to the madness
I’m a daughter of the sadness
I’ve been here too many times before
Been abandoned and I’m scared now
I can’t handle another fall out
I am fragile
Just washed upon the shore

They forget me, don’t see me
When they love me, they leave me

I admit I’m in and out of my head
Don’t listen to a single word I’ve said
Just hear me out, before you run away
‘Cause I can’t take this pain
No I can’t take this pain

I hate you don’t leave me
I hate you please love me

(A/n: this is what I've been thinking lately. This song seriously fits into my situation.)

You came out of nowhere when I already had my walls. I needed three damn years to built it. Those walls, surely, I built that to protect me so I wouldn't fall and break. But with you... you slowly crushing my walls, you made me fall in love with you when actually, I shouldn't.

I was stupid to think you would be there to catch me when I fall. Every single guy I got closer with, they always ended up running away, let me fall and breaking my heart again. It just.. hurts. Like, I promised my self I won't fall again but then you came and acted like you care about me. My mom's been giving me an early warning this time.... sorry mom, I didn't listen to you.

I hate you, I really do. Because you make me fall for you, you make me miss you while you don't miss me at all, you with your smiles.. the way your face crinkles when you laugh, you with your soothing voice. Why? Why did you make me like this? Why did you make me fall for you if you wouldn't be there to catch me? Damn it. I know I was a fool (or maybe I still am), but that doesn't mean you could do that to me.

Excuse you, I'm a human too. I have feeling, mind you. When are you gonna realize; it is NOT okay to play with someone's heart?

Don't leave me. I know I'm an idiot, wished something that would never happen. But please, I like the way you laugh, I like how careful you are when you riding your motorcycle, I like how shy you get around seniors, I like how loyal you are to your friends. The thing is, I like you, I care about you. Don't you ever leave me. My fucked up brain make me told you some of my dark stories. I shouldn't do that and I really hope you won't remember those slipped stories from my mouth.

I've been abandoned soooo many times before and what's Demi says in the song is true; I'm scared. What if you left me without warning? Honestly, I'm tired. Tired of getting hurt again and again.

I hate you, but please, love me.