STOP IT!

Hello! Just like I said on one of my Instagram picture, now I'm writing a long-ass post about body-shaming among the society.

According to http://yourdictionary.com, the definition of body shaming is the practice of making critical, potentially humiliating comments about a person's body size or weight.

Kurang jelas? Oke. Singkatnya, body-shaming itu adalah ketika seseorang mengolok-olok orang lain berdasarkan bentuk tubuhnya. Gue gak tau pasti tujuannya yang jelas gue benci banget sama satu hal ini. Dan di postingan kali ini, gue bakal jelasin kenapa body-shaming itu perbuatan hina yang harus dimusnahkan.

Gue emang gak terlahir sebagai cewek gemuk. Tapi yah mungkin emang pada dasarnya suka makan, makanya gue jadi gemuk. Lucunya, dari jaman gue SD sampe kuliah gini, gue pasti punya temen yang gak peduli sebanyak apapun dia makan, dia gak bakal bisa gemuk.

Society teaches people to be ashamed of their appearances. Faktanya, manusia gak mungkin malu atau bahkan membenci dirinya sendiri. Kebencian yang dimiliki itu semata-mata karena standar konyol yang dibuat oleh masyarakat. "Jadi cewek itu gak boleh gemuk", "lo tau model A? Tubuhnya ya ampun body goals banget", pasti ada berbagai macam omongan semacam ini di sekitar kita.

Karena gue emang gemuk dari kecil, gue jadi terbiasa dipanggil Dindut (Dina gendut). Padahal sebenernya kalo dipikir lagi, it's not normal to get used to a weird name-calling. Yang paling bikin gue bete adalah ketika orang-orang yang baru aja kenal sama gue, dengan santainya manggil gue 'ndut'. Secara gak langsung, mereka menghakimi gue dari penampilan doang, which is simply ridiculous if I would say. Gue yakin, banyak orang punya pengalaman yang sama.

Kenyataannya adalah gue lebih dari sekedar kata gemuk. Gak ada yang tau usaha gue selama ini dan hal-hal apa aja yang gue capai. The same case goes to you, my friends. Nobody knows things you've done but yourself. Dan kita gak perlu ngejelasin ke orang-orang tentang pencapaian kita. Buat apa? Toh mereka bukan orang penting.

Stop labeling people with names!!!

Bagi siapa aja yang suka banget melabeli orang lain, shame on you. I feel sorry for you. Kalian gak lebih dari sampah yang suka bikin orang-orang ngerasa gak percaya diri sama diri mereka sendiri.

Gue yang lama bakal langsung sedih dan kecewa ketika denger seseorang bilang "kok gendutan? Diet dong". Tapi gue yang sekarang malah ngerasa kasihan. Apa iya hidup mereka sebegitu membosankannya sampe mereka harus nyari hiburan dengan cara ngurusin hidup orang lain?

Body-shaming is not, and will never be, cool. We don't know what they've been through. We have no clue about the struggle they've had. Thus we have no rights to say something, anything really, about them or their bodies.

Apa iya gue harus ngasih pengumuman kalo gue udah turun berapa kilo? No. Dan apa gue harus cerita tentang latar belakang gue olahraga? Enggak. Gue gak punya kewajiban untuk ngasih tau apapun ke masyarakat.

Meskipun begitu, untuk mengakhiri postingan kali ini, gue mau ngaku beberapa hal. Pertama, gue gak lagi diet. I'm perfectly fine with my body, I finally feel comfortable in my own skin. Kedua, kalo emang gue mulai rajin lari (lagi) itu karena salah satu resolusi tahun baru. Gue udah janji sama diri sendiri kalo mau hidup lebih sehat tahun ini dan salah satu caranya ya dengan olahraga, terutama lari karena gue ngerasa lebih tenang setelah lari beberapa putaran di lapangan. Ketiga, walaupun gue gak diet tapi gue berusaha ngebatesin porsi makan dan ngurangin kebiasaan ngemil. Gue juga udah hampir 2 bulan ini berusaha buat minum minimal 2 liter air putih tiap harinya. Keempat dan sekaligus terakhir, berat badan gue udah turun beberapa kilo, so please stop complaining to me about my weight. That's not your business, it's mine.

I know that I don't have to explain myself but lately I've been getting a lot of comments about my body. And I'm actually surprised to find I bite back their comments with my sarcastic tone. I remember answered this to one of my high school friends, "kita udah lama gak ketemu dan hal pertama yang muncul di pikiranmu itu tentang aku yang tambah gendut? Interesting".

None of them said anything afterwards.

Kisses,

Dee 

Kids: Then and Now

Hi everyone! Finals are over and I'm finally back to write (hopefully) on a regular basis. I can not tell you how relieved I am because my fifth semester is over. Only three more semesters until I get my bachelor degree! Phew, that's not a long time! Also, that means I'm getting older as well.

Even so, there are things I actually do not enjoy. One of them is growing up.

Semakin tua umur seseorang, maka orang-orang akan mengharapkan satu hal: kedewasaan. Dan jujur aja, I'm not ready yet. Masih banyak hal yang pengen gue pelajari termasuk arti daripada kedewasaan itu sendiri.

Why? Karena akhir-akhir ini gue sadar, ternyata banyak anak yang udah atau malah diharuskan dewasa sebelum waktunya. Mereka yang seharusnya masih lugu dan memikirkan sekolah malah dipaksa memikirkan hal-hal lain yang seharusnya menjadi tanggung jawab orang tua.

Gue bersyukur karena selama 12 tahun wajib belajar, gak sekalipun orang tua maksa gue buat mikir hal-hal berat selain tugas sekolah. As my father would say, "kewajiban utama seorang pelajar itu ya belajar". Meskipun gue pengen banget kerja paruh waktu buat ngurangin beban orang tua, they wouldn't let me.

Hidup di keluarga yang alhamdulilah berkecukupan juga ngebuat gue lebih sadar dan lebih berusaha kalo pengen sesuatu. Gue masih inget banget, HP pertama gue dulu itu merek Nokia bekas salah satu om gue. Masih monoponik, dan layarnya warna biru ngejreng. Kalo di jaman sekarang sih, HP kayak gitu udah mending dibuang aja. Padahal jaman segitu, HP gitu doang aja ngedapetinnya penuh perjuangan. Gue harus lulus dan masuk ke SMP negeri (bukan hal yang mudah untuk siswi Madrasah Ibtidaiyah yang hanya memiliki 9 orang murid). People underestimated me all the time, making me self-conscious.

Beda banget sama anak-anak sekarang yang gampang banget minta HP ke orang tua mereka. Gak sedikit pula orang tua yang, gak tanggung-tanggung, beliin iPhone buat anak mereka. Gue pribadi tau dan kenal beberapa anak SD yang udah make iPhone. *cringe inwardly*

It amazed me, to be honest. Semudah itu para orang tua memanjakan anaknya. I'm not saying it's a bad thing, cuma kalo dimanjain secara berlebihan itu kan gak baik. Pak, Bu, mereka masih kecil. Masih bocah. Kalo dalam waktu semuda itu udah dibeliin gadget mewah, ya panjenengan gak boleh protes kalo nilai mereka turun drastis. Jangan serta merta nyalahin gurunya di sekolah. That's completely wrong and twisted.

Gue emang bukan pakar anak, lah punya anak aja belum kok (jangankan anak, pacar aja gak punya LOL). Tapi semenjak punya kerja sampingan jadi guru les, gue jadi lumayan sering perhatiin perilaku anak-anak, terutama yang ada di sekitar gue. Hasilnya? Gue dapet beberapa pembanding yang lumayan ekstrim antara anak jaman dulu dan sekarang.

Anak jaman sekarang itu kecanduan banget sama yang namanya gadget. Disini gue gak mau munafik karena gue juga lumayan kecanduan tapi kalo disuruh matiin/ninggal, yah gue biasa aja. Sementara anak jaman sekarang susah pisah dari perangkat elektronik. Gue punya satu murid les yang hampir gak bisa lepas sama tablet-nya. Just for your information, dia masih kelas 3 SD. 

Yang ada di pikiran gue saat itu adalah "perasaan dulu waktu SD gue cuman mainan bongkar pasang sama boneka". Di jaman itulah gue belajar berimajinasi. Otak gue secara gak langsung diasah sama persoalan-persoalan sepele yang ada. "Kalo Barbie make ini, Ken nya harus make jas yang mana ya", pertanyaan konyol macam ini sering banget gue tanyain ke diri gue sendiri.

Perbedaan yang paling mencolok adalah anak jaman dulu takut banget sama yang namanya orang tua. Kenapa? Karena sebagian orang tua gak ragu buat main fisik kalo anaknya udah dianggap keterlaluan. Some of you may think "that's not a good parenting". Emang sih cara kayak gitu sebenernya gak dibolehin tapi efeknya? Anak-anak lebih nurut orang tua karena mereka tau hukuman apa yang akan mereka terima ketika mereka berbuat salah.

Coba kita bandingin sama anak jaman sekarang. Banyak yang berani sama orang tua. Pake kekerasan dikit dibilang KDRT. It's funny because I still remember my father spanked me when I did something wrong and there were times when my mother had had enough of my rebellion so she just casually threw my stuff out of the house. Tentu, anak sekarang pasti mikir orang tua gue kejam. Tapi the way I see it, itu adalah bukti kasih sayang mereka. Mereka cuma gak mau gue jadi anak pembangkang dan gak tau aturan. Hasilnya? Gue lebih bisa jadi orang yang menghargai waktu dan segan sama orang yang lebih tua.

Tapi yah, apalah daya gue yang cuma anak remaja ingusan. Cuma bisa nulis di blog doang karena gak ada yang bersedia ngedengerin ocehan gue. However, these are my opinions. How about you? Comment in the box below about it.

Kisses,

Dee

Welcoming 2016

Hiya, lovely people!

I apologize for my absence. Things aren't too great right now and I can't be bothered to write about topics that will make me dizzy in no time. So, I decided to write about what excites me.

Leaving 2015 behind was quite hard for me because even though I struggled with my body image (again), a lot of good things happened last year. I tend to make stupid decisions and sometimes doing idiotic stuffs, which of course, put me in trouble. In my defense, those two make great memories.

I had never felt confident in my whole life. But in 2015, I felt so confident. Yeah, it started with me found out that my ex cheated (with a high-school student for goodness sake). Not a great start. Although I'm somewhat happier that I'm not with him anymore, I feel sorry for him.

I don't know how or when things around me started looking up. But they did.

Watching One Direction in Jakarta will always be my favourite memory. It filled with excitement, happiness, but also sadness. But you know what? I wouldn't want it any other way. And I was blessed to see them with two of my close friends. 

Other than that, I also finished #100happydays challenge on Instagram. I started it because I want to be happy. I needed more than a year to finish it but believe it or not, I am happier now. Sure, there are times when I feel like doing nothing but crying my eyes out. Although so, the important lesson from that challenge is that not to let certain things bother me and just focus on my happiness. So, I try to not let things affect me.

Let's not forget about Cerita Kita experience. It was exciting. And I'm truly honored to be chosen as one of the contributors. I feel so proud of myself for choose not to listen to those twats and not giving up on my dreams. I'm crying as I'm writing this because none of you has any idea how good I felt when they called my name. None of you knows how badly I want to be a writer/an author. And I reckon not all of you knows how sad I am whenever somebody tells me that having a literature degree is useless just like having a dream to be an author. I feel like I've proved myself worth more than they think I am.

Oh, I also started a job as a private tutor. Sure, it's not my dream job but as long as I can help my parents to pay their debts along with buying my own necessities, I'm not complaining. There are times when I feel so overwhelmed with things but my students know how to cheer me up. They never fail to amuse me. So, yeah, I'm probably in this for a long run.

2015 has taught me so many things.

I learned how to let people go. It's not and will never be easy, especially because I'm clingy as hell. But then I realized that not everyone is meant to stay in my life. They might stop for a while but then what? They will be gone before I realise it, they continue their journey of life without me. Back in my younger-self, I would be crying for a week straight and then I would start blaming myself for not being good enough for them. I had thought about this for a long time and then come to this question; why would I cling onto them so tightly when they obviously not care enough to stay?

Meanwhile #100happydays challenge also taught me how to love myself. I've been dealing with body-shaming for as long as I can remember and it brings nothing but low self-esteem. But now, I've learnt to not let people underestimate me just because I'm overweight. I've accepted my flaws. Fuck those wankers who think I can't do things on my own because I'm not skinny enough for their taste.

I also learned to be more vocal about what I have in mind. I mean, I used to watch things happen and held back comments because I was afraid. Which is actually stupid. I have rights to express myself, my opinions, my ideas. So, I started to be more vocal about it. For starters, I hate FPI (Front Pembela Islam) because they always make unnecessary ruckus among society. FYI, I would never write or say that a few years back since I was such a coward even for my own opinions.

Even though it's been more than a week since New Year's Eve, I would like to give a warm welcome to 2016. Not only because my annoying brother will graduate this year but I'm excited of what this year will bring. I'm excited for new memories. Sad or happy, who the hell cares? Both of them bound to happen anyway.

Unlike before, I'm welcoming this new year with a positive attitude. I'm also wishing for peace for the world. This world doesn't need anymore bastard, it needs open-minded people.

HELLO AND WELCOME, 2016! 😊😊

Kisses,

Dee

I Will Wait; a thing or two about One Direction's hiatus

Definitely emotional after reading that snap. Thanks, MTV!

Anyway, yes, my favourite boyband will go on hiatus for indefinite time. And as much as I'm not ready for it, they need it. They fucking deserve it. I mean, who the hell goes five freaking year for touring and making albums?! Even a diva like Taylor Swift releases her albums every two years— two, not one.

Am I gonna miss those idiots? Yes, I definitely will miss them. I've spent the majority of my free time watching their videos, ogling over their candid pictures, or even reading so many great fics. So, yeah, I think it's understandable if I say I will miss those lads very much.

I first knew them from a senior when I was just a freshman in school. It wasn't love at first sight. I couldn't even tell the difference of Liam and Harry who both had a same hairstyle in What Makes You Beautiful music video. So, yeah. I'm not a fan from 2010, I only first saw their video in December 2011 or January 2012 (I'm not quite sure). But after about ten videos or so, I was slowly falling for them.

I started being active on Twitter, making friends over the fandom. And yes, I've found lots of friends from the One Direction fandom. I thought it was only temporary, but my assumption was proven wrong when I realised, I'm still friends with Nabila. We chat daily through BBM, Line, and even Snapchat! She was just a tiny 'lil sixth grade pumpkin who lived in Jakarta. And now, four years later, she has grown into this cute pumpkin on her first year on high school. On top of that, we've only met once!!

One Direction has brought so much joy into my life. Sure, they occasionally make my anxiety skyrocketed for more than a couple of times (especially this year) but I can't tell you how much my life has changed since I know those lads. And for the better, of course. Their constant appearance in my life makes a huge impact.

When I was still in school, I was bullied because how fat I was (I still am, by the way). I reacted badly to negative comments. I might not show it in school but I took it upon myself to make the situation better with self-harming. It was stupid and crazy and irrational, I know. But somehow physical pain made it all better. It was like taking the shame to myself, my own body.

When I became #1 enemy in the class, I would just sit quietly and listen to the angelic voices of One Direction boys. When I watched the video of Harry crying over the hate he got from the internet, I teared up. Not only because we went through a similar phase, but just... the fragility of his made me realise that hey, nobody's perfect. Such a thing doesn't even exist.

Looking back now, the new Harry looks so confident in his patterned shirts and tight jeans, along with his stupid boots and that long curly hair of his. And Niall, being a carefree lad he always has, just laughs at whatever is funny to him.

They literally make me happy on the times I can't even count anymore. From that moment, I swore to put watch 1D's gig on my bucket list.

And then it happened. Last year, the promoter announced that One Direction would be having a gig in Jakarta this year. I remember freaked out for not having money and such. And to be honest, I was so sure I wouldn't be able to see them perform. But, Allah had another plans. Two of my amazing friends, Dyas and M.Tri, helped me to see their gig. From the concert tickets to the accommodation, they helped me so much and I'm so grateful for that. The bond we've had over this stupid boyband maybe came off a bit strong back then but I never regret a thing.

March 25th, 2015

I was finally in Jakarta. The realisation hit me up like tons of bricks that I wanted to cry my eyes out because wow, I'm seeing them live. I remember having lots of mixed feelings that I became numb and just wanted to sleep but I couldn't because I will see those idiots right in front of my eyes (not literally face to face but.. you know what I mean, don't youuuuu).

Unfortunately that day was the best and the worst day in my entire existence as a fangirl. I watched them live (which they sounded amazing, by the way. I could listen to their voices for years and will never get tired of it), but I also had to witness how Zayn's decision to leave the group had impacted lots of people including myself. I was still having PCD (Post Concert Depression) and scrolling through Twitter didn't help me a bit because my timeline was full of people mourning over Zayn's decision.

CelebMix said it best, to be honest.

I'm not ready yet to see the lads working on their solo projects. And to think of it, I don't think I will ever be ready for that. However, they deserve the hiatus. I— we, as in the fans, owe it to them. They've been working so hard for the last five years, making sure we get the best albums with the best songs. All the while they were away from families and friends (which is very tough, I can agree on that one).

I think not only they deserve this, they need this, we need this. Not only giving them the time to catch up with their loved ones but also appreciating what they've done for us.

It's the end of their first chapter of life. It's been hectic and mental, but it's also been memorable. Louis has promised to come back. Not just him, all of them promised to come back someday in the future. And I can't do anything but hanging on to that promise and make a new one for myself; I will wait for them to come back.

No matter how long the break will take, I promise I'll be here when they get back. I promise to stay in touch with all of my acquaintances around the world even though I'll be busy with my thesis next year.

I will wait, because I know how much they care about us.

Kisses from an Indonesian Directioner,

Dina

Random

Hi. I, uh, I apologized in advance of my absence.

I've been depressed for the past few weeks. I thought it was only another meltdown but when I constantly cry, I knew that it's not. I knew it's depression right away, although I've never consulted this to psychiatrist.

It started when I came back from Jakarta. On the previous post, I've written about the event I attended, so I'm not gonna talk about it anymore.

I became one of the contributor for Cerita Kita, and I'm actually really proud of myself because of that. To be honest, I'd hoped my so-called friends in uni would be happy for me and such. Unfortunately, I don't think they are.

They ignored me for a good amount of time, which it made realise me how friendless I actually am. I laughed at myself, realising that an awkward-and-ugly person like me would never have any actual friends. What the hell was I thinking?

I've been clean for more than a year but I actually had an urge to self-harm again last week. It was too much and I just... I don't know.

Cerita Kita #CastingCallBatch2

I'd like to start this post with a simple thank you to my parents and my bestfriends +Sri Rejeki Handayani and +ulin nuha for always believe in me. And of course, for +Gogirl! Magazine and CleanAndClear for this huge opportunity.

Thank you so much. I'm so grateful and honored to be involved in such a huge event :)

Sekitar satu atau dua bulan yang lalu, aku lagi iseng buka laman Facebook, kebetulan ada advertisement tentang Casting Call untuk kontributor Cerita Kita Batch 2. Ada 5 kelas yang akan dimentori oleh orang-orang yang berpengalaman; Photography Class, Beauty Class, Graphic Design Class, Fashion Styling Class, dan Writing Class. Karena aku memang udah suka nulis sejak jaman sekolah, aku mutusin buat daftar ke Writing Class.

Honestly, gak pernah terlintas di benakku akan lolos ke final. Aku bahkan sebenernya udah lupa kalo pernah daftar acara ini.

Sampe kira-kira 2 minggu yang lalu, aku dapet telpon dari nomer Jakarta waktu lagi ngajar les. Tapi karena HP sering aku silent, telpon itu cuma sekedar lewat alias missed call aja. Besoknya, nomer itu ngehubungin lagi waktu aku perjalanan pulang kuliah. Begitu sampe rumah, ada SMS dari Kak Annisa yang minta aku buat notice dia kalo udah bisa dihubungin. Sekitar 30 menit kemudian, Kak Annisa telpon ke nomerku dan kasih kabar ke aku yang jadi salah satu calon finalis Casting Call Batch 2. Remember the keyword here, calon. Even so, aku udah excited banget.

Keesokan harinya, aku bolak-balik ngunjungin laman Cerita Kita buat liat pengumuman. Karena sampe malem belum ada postingan juga, aku nyerah dan berhenti. 

Waktu hari Sabtu, 29 Agustus 2015, kebetulan paket internet smartphoneku lagi habis. Praktis, aku gak bisa buka website. Akhirnya, aku minta tolong Yani untuk ngecek website Cerita Kita, mungkin aja udah di-post. Gak ada 15 menit, dia udah SMS lagi ke aku, ngasih tau kalo namaku ada di daftar finalis.

Setelah perdebatan singkat yang konyol, aku akhirnya beli pulsa untuk paket internet dan langsung buka ngetik alamat Cerita Kita di tab baru. Kaget, seneng, gak nyangka, speechless, semuanya jadi satu waktu beneran ada namaku di daftar. Masih inget banget tanganku gemetar karena excitement.

Sekitar seminggu kemudian, Kak Nisa mulai ngehubungin aku tentang rencana keberangkatan dan segala macemnya. It was exciting! Kebetulan aku gak sengaja nemu Ulfa yang ternyata berdomisili di Salatiga. We chatted and talked about the upcoming event which was so fun.

Me and Ulfa on our way to Jakarta

Akhirnya, hari yang dinantiin dateng juga. Hari Sabtu kemarin (12/09/15), aku dan Ulfa yang emang udah janjian buat ketemu di bandara akhirnya terbang ke Jakarta. Our flight was so early, I nearly fell asleep on my way to airport hahaha. Sesampainya di bandara Soekarno-Hatta, ternyata kita itu peserta luar kota yang terakhir. Azizah (Pekanbaru), Balqis (Lampung), dan Janis (Bali) udah duluan nyampe di Gate 2F. Sebenernya ada Ollyvia (Manado) tapi ternyata karena ada miskom, Ollyvia udah keburu dijemput sama temennya.

Dari bandara, Kak Ayu langsung nganterin kita ke venue acara, Conclave. We arrived way too early. Alhasil kita harus nunggu di Library selama beberapa jam.

Yay for all of us!

Sekitar jam 1-an, setelah para finalis selesai registrasi dan foto di photobooth yang keren banget (I want to see the pictures really bad!), kita masuk ke salah satu ruangan untuk acara pembukaan gitu. Kak Ucita Pohan yang bertugas sebagai MC berhasil ngebuat acara tambah seru!

Kemudian, aku masuk ke ruangan yang khusus disediain untuk Writing Class bareng 10 finalis lain. We got Anita Moran as our coach! Kak Anita bukan cuma jago dalam hal Creative Writing, dia juga bisa bikin layout jadi tambah menarik gitu, plus she's super gorgeous! 

We learned from the best!

Setelah belajar gimana cara membuat artikel yang baik, kita diwajibkan buat nulis satu artikel dengan tema bebas sebanyak satu halaman dengan waktu 45 menit. I remember how the others were typing furiously to their laptops and I just sat there, lacking ideas. Pikiranku bener-bener blank. Modal nekat, aku nulis apa aja yang ada di pikiranku. Pada akhirnya, baru paragraf ketiga udah stuck gitu aja. Sempet bete abis karena cewek yang disamping kanan-kiriku udah mulai editing artikel mereka, akhirnya aku ganti judul. Gak cuma sekali, aku kemarin sampe 2 atau 3 kali ganti judul.

Abis itu pasrah aja. I didn't expect anything from it. Karena aku sadar, tulisanku jauh banget dari kata sempurna. Tapi yang paling penting bukan hasil akhir, melainkan prosesnya. Bisa termasuk dalam 50 finalis dan bisa dateng ke Jakarta aja udah bersyukur banget.

I looked so tiny here LOL

Smile can make you happy

Sebelum pengumuman, ada Join Class dulu dong. Di kelas ini, semuanya bebas buat tanya tentang confidence dan skin problems. Seru! Banyak pengetahuan baru yang aku dapet dari kelas ini. Salah satu yang paling penting, masih bisa pake make up meskipun wajah lagi berjerawat dengan syarat tidak mengandung minyak.


Acara selanjutnya, pengumuman pemenang Instagram. 

Pada saat pembukaan, Kak Uci udah nyuruh para peserta workshop buat upload foto sebanyak-banyaknya di Instagram dengan caption yang menarik dan diberi hashtag #SiapTampil #CastingCallBatch2, serta mention akun Instagram GoGirl! dan Cerita Kita. Aku sendiri gak jago dalam hal foto, I basically just take whatever I like. Jadi, I was surprised to hear my name. Gak nyangka banget bisa menang padahal cuma upload foto sederhana di Instagram. Thank you for the MAP Voucher, GoGirl! 

Instagram winners!

Acara terakhir, the announcement. Pengumumuman 10 kontributor Cerita Kita dari 5 kelas yang ada. Aku dan Ulfa (she was in the Photography Class) udah gak berharap buat lolos. Yang ada di pikiran kita adalah "kapan ke hotel?". Before you think anything further, just remember we came to the Ahmad Yani airport at 6 in the morning. Sementara pengumuman itu dibacain sekitar jam 5. We were tired, yes. Tapi hal itu gak menyurutkan semangat kita untuk bertepuk tangan ketika satu-persatu kontributor terpilih dipanggil ke depan. They worked hard, we needed to appreciate that!

My expression on the second one tho..

Waktu Kak Uci manggil namaku pertama kali, aku cuma bisa bengong. I turned to Ulfa and said, "Is that true? Aku? Beneran?". Sampe akhirnya beberapa cewek yang ada di depanku tepuk tangan meriah dan Ulfa nyuruh aku buat maju. My hands were shaking and I wanted to cry so freaking bad! Semuanya terjadi di luar perkiraanku.

She was such an amazing coach! Thank you, Kak Anita Moran!

It was definitely worth the early flight and missing the orientation day at my uni.

Malemnya, Kak Ayu dan finalis yang berasal dari luar kota langsung meluncur ke Hotel Grand Kemang. Lagi-lagi aku berpasangan sama Ulfa hahaha. Di kamar, kita ngomongin banyak hal random sampe akhirnya perut minta diisi. We decided to go to Domino's Pizza, karena kebetulan voucherku berlaku di situ.

Kita sampe di hotel lagi jam 10 malem dan langsung siap-siap tidur. She slept first meanwhile I did my homework which is due today. 

Paginya, aku bangun lebih dulu dan langsung cek HP (kebiasan buruk! *scold myself*). Sekitar jam 07.30, kita berdua turun buat sarapan sekalian check out. Time flew too fast! Tau-tau kita berdua udah di bandara lagi untuk pulang ke Semarang.

Iya tau, muka aku emang lebar :p

By the way, I met my internet friend today as well! Hi, Nabila!! 4 tahun temenan dan akhirnya bisa ketemu walau cuma sebentar. Makasih gifts-nya, I love them very much! I still hope to see you again, maybe with Reiza next time! Love you, bub! 

Aku sadar banget betapa beruntungnya aku selama weekend ini. I went to Jakarta without any expectation and came home with these incredible gifts. Gak ada kata-kata yang bisa aku rangkai untuk mengekspresikan betapa senang dan terhormatnya aku karena terpilih jadi kontributor untuk Cerita Kita dari Batch 2.

Thank you, Nab!

Dear readers, di akhir post ini aku mau bilang beberapa hal:

1. BERMIMPILAH. As long as you can dream it, there is a hope. And that hope will make you believe, you can achieve it.
2. Have faith in yourself. Jangan hiraukan mereka yang pengen liat kamu gagal.
3. DON'T EVER GIVE UP. Hidup memang gak mudah, tapi kamu jangan nyerah gitu aja. Keep trying, although people are doubting you.

Writing has always been my passion since a long time ago. 

I used to write secretly in my book just so my parents won't be suspicious. Dan ini adalah kesempatan besar yang aku dapetin dengan usahaku sendiri. Do you know how it feels? It feels fun-freaking-tastic! I earned this and I'm proud of myself.

I am awkward but I'm still happy!

Last but not least, terima kasih kepada semua yang terlibat event menakjubkan ini!

I swear I didn't rob a drugstore!

Gogirl! Magazine yang bener-bener total dalam semua hal dan Clean and Clear yang gak berhenti menyemangati para gadis remaja untuk menemukan passion. Terima kasih banyak! Dan untuk para finalis, you girls are so talented and I'm more than happy to meet you. Sukses terus semuanya!


Photocredit: Ulfa, @Gogirlmagazine, @CleanandClearID, @ceritakitaID

I FREAKING DID IT!

Kisses,

Dee

Book nerd alert!

You guys!! I've been dying to write here! But college has just started and because I have a part-time job, free time is such a rarity for me *insert frustrating emoji here*. Just this afternoon I had to skip one of my classes due to the dizziness I felt. And I felt terrible for cancelling a tutor session with a kid.

Thank goodness I feel a lot better after took two hours nap. So, here I am, writing about random stuffs again.

Earlier this week, a friend of mine asked me to give a book recommendation for her thesis. I suggested some of my favourite books but I don't know what will she choose.

And then, I just remember that some people asked about what kind of book or novel I like. Honestly, I don't exactly know about that. I usually read the synopsis (on the back cover of the book), and a review before I decide to read the entire book. One of my bestfriend is a book nerd too, so, she often gives me good recommendations. If I happen to like it, I will download the full version. In some cases, she (my bestfriend) lends me her books.

IF I have to choose one, I probably will choose romantic books. Cheesy but what can I say? I'm a sucker for romantic gestures even if it just in the books *grins playfully*. But that doesn't mean I'm not a fan of the other genres because I certainly am.

This time, I have made a list of books I've read, whether in its Indonesian versions or the English ones. You may find it online or in bookstores, totally your choice. If you prefer the e-book version, I suggest you download the EPUB version than the PDF ones. It's a lot easier to read them with Universal Book Reader app (on phones or tablets). I absolutely love that app!

A list of books I've read:

- Divergent trilogy by Veronica Roth (I love the third book!****)

- The Fault in Our Stars by John Green***

- The Maze Runner by James Dashner****

- The Scorch Trial by James Dashner****

- The Death Cure by James Dashner****

- The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky (the book is different than the film)*****

- Paper Towns by John Green

- Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell (I can relate to this book on a personal level)****

- The Hunger Games trilogy by Suzanne Collins***

- The Duff by Kody Keplinger**

- Looking For Alaska by John Green (MY ULTIMATE FAVOURITE)*****

- Breaking Dawn from Twilight series by Stephenie Meyer

- Void Moon by Michael Connelly

- The Crush by Sandra Brown

Meanwhile this one is a list of books I'm currently reading AND about to read:

- Eleanor and Park by Rainbow Rowell

- To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee (I still haven't finished it in a year, damn it)

- Will Grayson, Will Grayson by David Levithan and John Green

- Hopeless by Colleen Hoover

- Emma by Jane Austen

- Beautiful Disaster series by Jamie McGuire

- Ten Tiny Breaths series by K.A. Tucker

- We Were Liars by E. Lockhart

- Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte

- To All The Boys I've Loved Before by Jenny Han

- After series by Anna Todd (I've read the fanfic versions on Wattpad but still..)

- The Mortal Instruments series by Cassandra Clare (I'm excited for the TV show!)

- Every You, Every Me by David Levithan

- Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen
- Vampire Academy series by Richelle Mead

There are a hell lot of books I want to read but I only got a little time to finish it. As for the moment, I'm reading Hopeless, After We Collided, and Pride and Prejudice. I can't stay only reading one book, I always end up reading two books (I have no idea why though).

Oh, and I put the stars on the books that I like. Five stars mean I absolutely love it.

I hope you find this post useful. But if you're not, that's okay too.

Kisses,

Dee